Fringe

You ever feel like every time we get close to getting the answers, somebody changes the question?
-Peter to Olivia
Season 3, Episode 10

Conan

"I assume that was the punchline."
 Jack McBrayer
Conan: September 8, 2011

Conan O'brien

"Homer Simpson wears tighty whities. There's something almost emasculating about them."

Conan O'Brien
July 18, 2011
"Death Gets a Paper Cut"

Grey's Anatomy

Addison Montgomery: "There is a land called Passive Agressiva, and I am their queen."

Arrested Development

Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
Gob: Hiding from a child. Big difference.
Michael: Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
Gob: He doesn't know what he feels. I'm tired of being told - my God. What is this feeling?
[Schmaltzy music begins to play]
Michael: You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call... a "feeling".
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard.
[the music reaches its crescendo]

Season 3, Episode 2: "For British Eyes Only"
Written By: Richard Day and Mitchell Hurwitz
Created By: Mitchell Hurwitz

Grey's Anatomy

"Your heart lives in your vagina."
-Meredith Grey
[Written by: Peter Nowalk]
Season 6, Episode 16: Perfect Little Accident

Bones

"Phalanges! Dancing phalanges!"
-Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan

Season 4 Episode 25; The Critic in the Cabinet, aired on May 7, 2009
[Written By: Hart Hanson and Stephen Nathan]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)

“When I’m with a boy I like, it’s hard for me to say anything cool, or witty, or at all....I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.”

-Willow Rosenberg, Season 1 Episode 1: Welcome to the Hellmouth

Saturday Night Live

"I'm Sorry. Notebooks are for notes, not for kissing."
-Mariana

Played by: Taylor Launter
Aired on: Saturday, December 12, 2009
Musical Guests: Bon Jovi

Chuck

My father always said, a terrible nickname builds character.

-Dr. Woody Woodcomb (Mr. Awesome)
Season 2, Episode 9: Chuck Versus the Sensei
[Created By: Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak, Written By: Anne Cofell Saunders]

How I Met Your Mother

A drunk jackass called God and a box of pencils called destiny!

-Eric Marshall
Episode 20, Season 3: "Miracles"
[Written by: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas]

Gilmore Girls

"I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron."

-Lorelai Gilmore
Seson 1, Episode 7: Kiss and Tell
[Written By: Jenji Kohan]

30 Rock

"When I die, they'll want to put my face on money. If there were money in the future instead of just hugs."

-Greenzo
Season 2 Episode 5
[Written By: Jon Pollack]

The Simpsons

I want to live in the sauce!

-Homer Simpson

2006 Stuyvesant High School Graduation Speech

Four: If you want to get out of a test, don't say you have a family emergency. Everyone says they have a family emergency in college and it never works. Say you have diarrhea. No one ever says they have diarrhea unless they do.

-Conan O'Brien